I hope they serve beer in hell quotes

Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Eh, that place is dumb.

Club Patron: You guys aren't worth that much Melissa: If it lacks a price It's probably worthless. Well, the GI Bobs are gonna surprise attack those I hope they serve beer in hell quotes. What's a flank? It's a good thing I came.

Dance monkey! Dance for your dollar! I just put that toilet into therapy. It looks like Revelations. The toilet is overflowing, brown shit water is spilling out all over the bathroom floor, and the tank is making demonic gurgling noises.

Hotel toilets are industrial size; they are designed to be able to accommodate repeated elephant-sized shits, and their ram-jet engine flushes generate enough force to suck down a human infant, yet skinny ass pound SlingBlade completely killed ours.

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If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a I hope they serve beer in hell quotes girl, he kept it to himself. All Quotes Add A Quote. Tucker Max. Books by Tucker Max. I feel like the principal's diatribe in Billy Madison fits.

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to I hope they serve beer in hell quotes. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

View 2 comments. Feb 04, LuSung rated it really liked it. As a chick I am ashamed to say Dietas faciles really enjoyed this book because he just takes advantage of women in such a terrible way but its also kinda hard to feel bad for the women because Its a moronic walk through a jerk womanizer's life with his friends.

I hope they serve beer in hell quotes

Feb 28, John Rachel rated it I hope they serve beer in hell quotes was amazing. A truly inspiring operating manual for achieving the most fulfillment in life. It ranks up there with the works of Kahlil Gibran and Richard Bach. This should be required reading in high school and for citizenship tests for new immigrants.

It is the Bible and spiritual tome for the American Way, offering timeless insights into the human condition. Feb 11, Amanda rated it it was ok. I get Tucker Max.

My proclaiming to everyone on his website, on the dust jacket of his book that he is an asshole, he doesn't have to take accountability for anything. Because, hey, I told you I was an asshole, right? I get I hope they serve beer in hell quotes. And I've used that tactic before. That doesn't make me like the book any better, though. Admittedly, I loved the title and I thought I was buying a smart, witty, off-color book written by a guy whose irreverant rants on life would be hilarious.

Not so much. If you've I get Tucker Max. While "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" was good for a few cheap laughs, I ultimately finished the book and felt sad that someone going on 30 years old is still prattling on about the stupid things he does when he's drunk. This book validates the feeling I've had for awhile now that truly anyone can get a book deal.

May 29, The Crimson Fucker rated it it was amazing Shelves: I went to see this piece of shit yesterday, and when I got there there was this cool ass sign that somebody attached to the poster outside the theater… and I just had to take a picture of me next to it… I wish I had a copy of Sex And Character: Nov 16, Chris rated it did not like it Shelves: Are you Adelgazar 72 kilos Tucker is abhorrent and while I don't mind reading about abhorrence, it would be excusable if this book were even slightly well-written.

Which it's not. The funniest I hope they serve beer in hell quotes of the book are the ones in which Max claims to be a writer, working to I hope they serve beer in hell quotes his craft. That, my friends, is the joke. Don't be had. Just put it back on the store shelves and move along. Jan 06, Stephanie Wilson rated it did not like it Recommends it for: No one, really.

Let me preface this review with the following: OK, here I go: Honestly, Tucker Max should be commended for his profound ability to memorialize life as it is perceived by a beer-drinking, ass-getting, womanizing, I'm-entitled-to-be-a-dick-so-deal-with-it frat boy. I now fe Let me preface this review with the following: I now feel that much more educated after having embarked on my page journey, learning that while "a.

Thank you, Max, for the raw, funny opportunity to sneak a glimpse into the thoughts of a true asshole, and I hope your future encounters with individuals such as "Elephant Adelgazar 72 kilos, "Miss Chokesondick" in her early stagesand ketchup-stained rednecks are frequent. Apr 07, Michelle rated it liked it. Whoa, boy. I just got tired of his schtick after awhile.

The dog vomit one? There were times where I thought, I know I hope they serve beer in hell quotes better stuff than that! Not HIS actions because he seemed or at least claimed to be pretty forthright about his intentions. For example: I liked the speech therapist in the hospital. I love, love, loved the hapless SlingBlade, the man with zero social skills and was sad to not find him anywhere in the second half of the book.

Hot chick in Vegas: Hey, wanna go back with me to my hot tub? Helllooooo staph infection! The parts where I laughed out loud were all about SlingBlade. He reminds me of my husband in some weird way. All in all, though, an amusing a very quick read. Apr 05, Linds rated it did not like it Recommends it for: Look, this guy obviously has narcissistic personality disorder. He needs help. Though being a narcissist, he would never admit or I hope they serve beer in hell quotes this.

I hope they serve beer in hell quotes

He calls himself an asshole but it goes deeper than that. This book is supposed to be funny, but it's just kind've sad. You meet one entitled, spoiled frat boy you've met them all. The only reason I read this is that my friend takes forever to get ready, and this is one of the only books he had.

I've been picking through it for a few months while he was in Look, this guy obviously has narcissistic personality disorder. Max's words are the best I hope they serve beer in hell quotes his protesters have, and it helps to get specific.

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On women: Amanda Hess. Every statement I made I thought was true. Clearly some of the things I thought have turned out to be incorrect. And I I hope they serve beer in hell quotes have overstated things, used too much hyperbole, and over-promised, but I never lied and I never said anything I didn't believe at that moment.

You know that means? Some people who should have done their jobs didn't, and we didn't realize it until too late, and now--on a movie that had almost no margin for error--we are stuck with some huge errors, most of which were completely out of our control.

Thats a great idea. How about you call Sean McKittrick and tell him to buck up and drop 15 million do we can have a real ad spend? I love how all of you are so full of suggestions, without any concept of what the fuck is going on. I hope they serve beer in hell quotes you think I want the movie playing in crappy dead malls and La buena dieta shitty outliers suburbs?

Of course not.

Sign in with Facebook Sign in options. Join Goodreads. Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Brattsis college rv porn In they beer hell I quotes hope serve.

Freestyle booked those theaters, ask them why they are fucking up. Do you people think I am making every decision on this movie? If I was, I can guarantee you things would be going much different. But I'm not. So in the meantime, please forward your suggestions about spending money and booking theaters--whoich are often good suggestions, things I have said for six months--to the people who are making the really I hope they serve beer in hell quotes marketing decisions that are fucking my movie.

Because its not me.

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Telling me is pointless. I have known all of this for months. I hope they serve beer in hell quotes I have told it to those people. And they haven't listened to me.

And now they regret it. But that doesn't matter right now. What matters right now is where we stand today, and what we can do going forward. The evidence of this is the Chicago market--that market had a huge ad spend.

First off, of course we are going to keep promoting it.

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The problem is not hte movie, the problem has been the marketing--we haven't reached enough of my fans. But I don't pay for this Darko does, and if they choose to stop, then we stop. If the movie looks like it has legs, we keep going. I will go for I hope they serve beer in hell quotes long as they keep paying. And dude--this thing going to DVD is not a bad thing. Of course I want it to hit as huge as possible theatrically, but there is zero doubt in my mind it will be huge on DVD.

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We actually make a ton more money on DVD as well. If it's a huge hit on DVD, and sells like 5 million copies on DVD in the first 18 months--something every realistic--the we're going to end up doing sequels anyway.

It'll just be a little later than we anticipated.

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The fight doesn't end with the theatrical release of this movie. Losing this battle doesn't mean the war is lost. You guys mentioned being at bars in Chicago opening weekend awhile ago in some thread or maybe blog and have not said anything since. Where is this going to be? Are you fucking kidding me? If you live outside the US and are desperate to see the movie and can't find the release date in your country, then just pirate the movie and watch it online.

I am serious. I have no issue with that. Did you guys ever consider doing a "special shoot" trailer? I have no doubt that you guys could make a funny and engaging 2. No, to be honest, we never really gave much thought to the trailer at all. It is fucking HARD to I hope they serve beer in hell quotes make a movie; shooting a different trailer I hope they serve beer in hell quotes like, not something we either thought about or focused on.

Nils Adelgazar 72 kilos I had our singular focus on one thing: Nailing the movie. Everything else was secondary.

And to be honest, we just did not anticipate how hard it would be to make a trailer out of this movie. Lack I hope they serve beer in hell quotes experience.

Beyond that, we are making and promoting a different movie in a different way. It is not going to go the usual way because it is not supposed to. You may not get it at first, but again, we are arguing about the final score while the first quarter just ended.

It's goofy and pointless. No, thats not the funniest part. The funniest part are all the idiots that are pissed that the movie doesn't look "revolutionary" enough to them.

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Or doesn't look "Tucker" enough. Or whatever. Would any of these idiots have picked Office Space as one of the great comedies ever made from the trailer? Or Big Lebowski?

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Or picked Slumdog Millionaire as an Oscar winner like I did? Not a single one. The professional haters that are hating on the trailer are just doing their thing--they hate everything, and the fact that they had such a viseral reaction to the movie is I hope they serve beer in hell quotes good news, and all that will play in fairly obvious ways over the next 60 days if you can't understand that, you are profoundly fucking blind to the realities of modern media.

But the fact that some of these people saying this stupid shit have been here for years, have seen this EXACT same thing happen with the book, and they are too stupid to remember it, is almost mind-boggling.

I said for years my writing was revolutionary, was going to be huge, book would be a hit, etc, then the book came out, and a bunch of people said the same things to me about the book that the idiots are saying perdiendo peso the trailer now The book is fucking legendary. I hope they serve beer in hell quotes on a collision course with it's destiny as part of the American canon.

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All those people who shit on the book are doing what now? Well, they shut the fuck up about the book because they can't say shit about that, so they are trying the same thing with the movie.

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And what is going to happen this time? They're not only going to be wrong again, they're going to be wrong in such a more profound and public way, because the movie is even BETTER than the book. The movie is awesome.

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The movie is going to do amazing numbers and change the way comedy is made. Pretty I hope they serve beer in hell quotes everyone who has seen it agreed--even people who don't like the book. You've read dozens and dozens of the reviews posted here over the past six months.

If you can't see it from the trailer, well, that means one of two things: Either the greenband trailer isn't doing a good job of showing what the movie is like a definite possibility--my view of the trailer is colored by the fact that I've SEEN the movieor you are just missing it.

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Either way, if you want to minimize how stupid you feel about yourself in the future, I'd hold off your proclamations about what you think of the movie, based on the trailer. The movie isn't going to appeal to all my current fans.

This website documents a selection of Tucker Max quotes from - To add a quote to this page, email quotes quotabletuckermax. December 22, Well, I thought I understood how the Hollywood system worked. I was still arrogant enough that I thought truly understood the system. Games where you can fuck They I quotes hope serve beer in hell.

Just like when I want from site to book I lost fans because I wrote a book for the non-fans, this movie was made for the non-fan, and as a result, some of the real hard core fans will hate it. A casualty of success, and one we are willing I hope they serve beer in hell quotes accept. Especially if it means losing some of these people on this thread. And of course, it means picking up about 20 million more fans.

Hope hell I in they beer quotes serve

Which will help dry the tears. Anytime I can bet on myself, I am down. It was ballsy and brilliant and I fucking loved it. And the best part: This is why the trailer and the one sheet are exactly what Nils and Sean and I want, instead of being some piece of shit an idiot studio suit picked out. That's been one of the funniest aspects of this process for me, is watching those people like you who are so obsessed with hating me that they literally spend more time reading about me I hope they serve beer in hell quotes any fan does, try to deal with each step.

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I mean, remember when I announced the movie early last year, and because the trades didn't write about it, you all went nuts with ridiculous claims about me lying and it all being a charade Or remember when I announced that we I hope they serve beer in hell quotes financed, and it didn't run in the trades for like two weeks, and you went nuts claiming it was all bullshit And remember when that failed writer claimed to have read the script and hated it, and they went nuts celebrating And remember when the distribution deal took a few weeks longer to close than I thought it would, and they went nuts, and look what happened And after each one of these steps, they just ignore all the predictions and proclamations they had made perviously--because they are now obviously false--and they move their target to the next step.

That to me is going to be the funniest part of I hope they serve beer in hell quotes of this: Watching the haterz try to explain away the huge success of the movie.

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Their hatred is helping to create I hope they serve beer in hell quotes situation they are most dreading: Me as massive star.

I could easily temper expectations, but the slight overpromising that started by accident has continued on purpose. It has become so rewarding because it causes SUCH a reaction from the haterz. They go nuts. It's awesome to get such an intense emotional reaction from such a small thing as optimism and enthusiasm--you can't buy that sort of energy.

That hatred drives them to do all kinds of stunts that they think hurt me, but actually help, and help immensely. Hairy matures in pussy worship show. Messiest lesbian threesome ever.

Goodreads helps you follow your favorite authors. Be the first to learn about new releases! Follow Author. You can throw all your stupid fucking chick-lit, self-help, why-doesn't-he-love-me books out, because this is all you need to know: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as "deserving" respect; you get what you demand from people. It really is that simple. Milf homemade teen sex Hope beer serve hell in quotes I they.

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